This Is 46: Anxiety, Hormones, and the Strength No One Sees

Mental Health Awareness Month Reminder

At 46, I thought I’d feel more settled.

Instead, I feel like a whole new anxious mind has been unlocked.

And it’s not just stress, it’s the kind of anxiety that sits in your chest like a weight, makes your heart race for no reason, and brings tears to your eyes when you’re doing something as ordinary as folding laundry or sitting in traffic.

Hormonal shifts in midlife have only amplified it.

What used to feel like stress now feels unmanageable.

Mood swings, rage, panic, overwhelm, and deep, bone-tired exhaustion.

Some days I feel like I’m drowning in invisible waves.

And yet, I still show up.

I still run my business.

I still raise my teens.

I still smile, record, post, write, teach, coach, care, create.

But here’s what you don’t see on social media:

The tears I blink back during the school drop-off line.

The way I spiral at night, worrying about my kids and every single little thing.

The breathwork I do just to function.

The fact that even as someone who teaches mindset and wellness, I’m still struggling.

This is Mental Health Awareness Month, and maybe it’s time we get louder about what this really looks like in midlife.

Yes, I believe in holistic modalities.

I use affirmations, tapping, breathwork, yoga, journaling.

I live them. I teach them.

But sometimes that’s not enough.

Sometimes we need more.

Sometimes we need to call a therapist.

Sometimes we need to talk to our doctor.

Sometimes we need medication.

Or a combination of all the things.

And that’s not weakness.

That’s wisdom.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to anxiety, especially not for women in midlife juggling hormones, teens, careers, and the pressure to be “okay.”

If you’ve felt this kind of anxiety, if you’ve ever wondered if you’re losing your mind, please know this:

You are not alone.

You are not broken.

You are not failing.

You are just human.

And you are carrying so much.

You are allowed to ask for help.

You are allowed to rest.

You are allowed to explore every healing path that works for you—whether that’s therapy, medication, meditation, or all of the above.

And if I’m being completely honest…

As I write this, I want to cry.

Because sometimes it feels like none of it is landing.

Sometimes I pour my heart into a post, a blog, an Instagram caption, a podcast, and I hear nothing back.

I get no likes. No comments. No shares. Just… silence.

And I hate that I care.

I hate that, at 46, I’m still wondering if I’m good enough based on the likes I get on an Instagram post.

I hate that I let numbers determine my worth, even when I know better. Even when I am teaching and telling my kids none of this matters and should not determine your self-worth.

But that’s the thing about anxiety.

It doesn’t care how wise you are, how many tools you use, how much you teach others.

It’s not logical.

It just is.

So yes, I’m still showing up.

I’ll keep posting.

Keep creating.

Keep sharing these truths, even when it feels like no one is listening.

Because maybe it will land.

Maybe it will reach the one woman who needed it most.

Maybe you.

And that, I’ve decided, is enough.

** My blogs are moving to Substack. Friday will be my usual post for my paid subscribers, however I am making it free this week for everyone for a special Mother's Day treat with an added meditation only for Substack readers.

https://nikkilanigan.substack.com/