This phrase has stuck with me since my first yoga class. I remember the instructor saying always end on something positive. I never thought much into it. I even started to teach that way saying this phrase. Until a few weeks ago.
Why is saying "Yes" a positive thing and saying "NO" negative?
I for one have spent most of my life being a people pleaser and never able to say no because I either thought someone will get mad at me or no matter how busy I am, I want to do something for others because honestly I like to.
I go through periods that I am so burnt out because I can't say no then I have resentment that others can say no. That is on me though. They have healthy boundaries and are able to do what is best for them and say no if they don't want to do something. This is something I am working on daily to be able to say no and set healthy boundaries.
I want to teach my kids to say no and not feel bad. ( to a certain point with me : ) )
Let them know they don't have to feel bad about something if they don't want to let someone borrow something of theirs or if they are uncomfortable and don't want to do something they can say no.
It's okay to say no and not feel the need to explain yourself to anyone.
People pleasing nourishes other people but leaves yourself feeling depleted.
It's like what flight attendants say before your plane departs the airport. Place your oxygen mask on yourself before assistaning anyone else that may need assistance. We need to take care of ourselves before we can help others.
Saying no sometimes and having boundaries isn't selfish.
So how do you say no and not feel bad about it?
A quote I love says, "Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself." - Sonya Parker.
Tinybuddha.com says to know your value. If you live your life for other's approval, you will never feel free and truly happy.
Do you have time? Have you committed to something and now feel stuck or overwhelmed? Be honest and upfront. Take care of yourself and what you need.
TIPS FOR SAYING NO:
Don't lie. Lying will only make you feel guilty.
Remember it is better to say no now then be resentful later.
Remember your self worth does not depend on how much you do for other's.
Now when I practice yoga and teach, I say shake your head yes shake, your head no.