If I ask you on a scale of 0/10 how happy you are, what would you say? How many people can say they’re a 10/10 feeling so happy, so much joy? My guess it’s not a 10 out of 10.
But we’ve normalized feeling like a 4/10. We spend our time thinking how to be more successful, or a better mom. What about feeling better? Spending time on ourselves to feel better? How many people say I want to be a better mom? Better wife? Better employer/employee?
In the past year and a half I’ve spent coaching others, I’ve recognized patterns in what we all do, including myself, that hold us back from success.
You think you’re not enough. Everyone struggles with not feeling good enough (even kids, Tweens, and teens) – in their career, relationships or personal life.
We Compare ourselves to the Pinterest moms, Instagram moms, TV moms, etc.
Have you ever taken the time to ask yourself what do you want, what do you really want? More peace, more time? More money, success, another kid a kid?
Ask yourself this question. Don’t judge yourself with your answer.
Now I ask you today to allow yourself to feel all the feelings and be where you’re at without judgement. Can you allow yourself joy with everything right now?
Ways you may be preventing yourself from being happy:
You compare yourself to others. Social media gives us a look into all of the ways in which others are succeeding, with awards on display, marriages, "perfect family" pictures, and all other accolades and trophies people tend to boast about with themselves and especially their kids. The main thing to remember is that this isn't all real. People tend to put all their wins on display, not their failures. It is their highlight reel.
You're Doing Things Based On Other People's Happiness. Focusing on making sure your loved one's needs are being met may make you forget to satisfy your own needs.
You are doing things based on other people's opinions and what they are telling you to do and think you should do. You are your own person and you know what is best for yourself and your family. Don't let others opinions and views change your mind and sway you. You will end up feeling resentful in the end.
You're Not Practicing Mindfulness. We know all the studies on breath work and meditation. It really works to help boost moods, lower cortisol levels, and so much more.
You are staying in a negative mindset. You are the character on SNL, Debbie Downer.
You are hanging out with people that constantly complain. Complaining is like mold. It spreads quickly. Don't engage in the constant complaining. We all like drama and to vent but sometimes it becomes constant and you need to pull away to get your mindset right.
You are burnt out and putting everyone else ahead of your own needs and not asking for help.
You are chasing the feeling. You want the next big thing to make you happy. The next vacation, trip, salary raise, the car, material things, the job title, etc.
Everyone's version of what makes them happy is different, but there are ways that we can help boost our moods:
Exercise. Duh I say this one a lot. Serotonin, stress hormones and endorphins, change when you exercise.
Listen to music
Start a Gratitude practice
Give compliments to others and accept compliments when they are given to you.
Stop Complaing. Catch yourself and start to rewire your brain and thinking.
Spend time with friends, family, and loved ones that bring out the joy in you and make you feel happy.
Help others, acts of service and volunteer work.
Less time on Social Media (Seriously, such a mind trap. Our kids need less time too, it's setting them up to compare themselves All.The.Time)
Explore Positive Affirmations
Take Days to Rest
* If it seems to be more of depression reach out and talk to a professional.