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Why do some people have so much confidence and others do not?


Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” —Christopher Robin


Why do some people have so much confidence and others do not?


I am working with a business coach right now and she is constantly telling me to make my business Instagram page public, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. Why? because I am scared shitless to put myself out there to be judged and criticized. I am my own worst critic and pick out every flaw on myself. I hate taking selfies and posting videos and pictures of myself on social media so it is a huge thing for me stepping out of my comfort zone when I do so.


Growing up I was so shy and quiet. I still am, it takes a bit for me to feel comfortable around someone until I open up. I am reserved by nature and an introvert.


I have anxiety and when I was in high school I was very shy. I know I was perceived as stuck up when I defintalty was not. I see my kids now being so shy and quiet out of the house and around others they don't know well. Their lack of confidence in themselves hurts seeing and noticing. I was there and I don't want them to feel this way. But why when nothing ever happened causes some people to have low self-esteem and lack of confidence???


How can we train ourselves to believe in ourselves, gain confidence, and have a high self esteem?


Well honestly I don't know all the answers and even know why some of us have such low self-esteem when nothing happened to cause it. But I do know how I personally try to gain confidence and build on my self - esteem.


Confidence is a skill like any other. Believe that with some practice we can start to feel better and more confident.

Here are 17 ways to overcome a lack of self-confidence.


1. Learn Something New

2. Hit the Gym

The physiological effects of going to the gym will leave you feeling great.

Countless studies have shown that regular workouts at the gym can boost not only your sense of well-being, but can increase your self-esteem, too.

3. Get Clear on the Things That Matter to You

4. Remove Negativity From Your Life

Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize, or diminish each one.

5. Celebrate Your Wins, big and small!

6. Do Something You Would Normally Say No to.

7. Do One Thing Each Day That Makes You Smile

8. Give Yourself Good Advice

9. Write Down Things That Make You Feel Good. A gratitude list.

10. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

11. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others!!!!

12. It’s Okay to Be Shy!!!!!

There’s nothing wrong with being shy, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a confident person ( Sometimes).

If you suffer from shyness, you might think it’s a major weakness of yours. However, introverted people have the edge in many ways, such as: they’re first-rate listeners, they have excellent observational skills, and they’re easier to trust.

13. Learn to Say No!!!! Set boundaries for yourself! (something I am working on)

14. Realize You Are Enough

15. Use the Power of Positive Self-Talk

16. Meditation and yoga! I always come back to these two. Practicing yoga has helped me so much with gaining more self - esteem and easing my mind. Meditation is also another great practice to help cultivate confidence and self - esteem.

17. Use confidence affirmations. Affirmations for self esteem, are a great way build your confidence and self worth when they are repeated over-and-over.

1. I am confident and strong

2. I am becoming more confident each day

3. I love and respect myself

4. I do not need validation from others

5. I am in full control of my life

6. There is nothing I am not able to overcome

7. I am successful in everything I do

8. I am enough

9. I am a good person

10. I deserve good things

11. I believe in my abilities

12. I am intelligent and capable

13. I deserve to be happy

14. I am beautiful

15. I don’t have to justify anything to anyone

16. I treasure my imperfections

17. I acknowledge my self-worth

18. I am loved and respected as I am

19. I make good decisions

20. I release negative self talk


It is still a work in progress for myself and now I am trying to install these tools into my kids to help them have confidence and believe in themselves.

Most importantly do not beat yourself up about feeling this way. We are all unique in our own way. Being shy is not something to look down on. Hell I was voted shyest in my high school senior class. I knew going into the senior banquet I would probably get it. I knew people thought I was quiet, because I was. We all are unique in our own way and we need to love ourselves.



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